If you have no artistic talent, you might as well go surreal.
At least it gives folk something interesting to look at and wonder at the mindset that created such a collage. Plus, of course, what the sweet actual they are looking at.
The masterpiece you're currently enjoying (left) is entitled Matti Learns That Dave McKean Makes This Stuff Look Too Easy.
Alternatively known as Thumbnail for a Kira Gift Shop on Death Note News.
We needed something to adorn the slidey 'heads up' thing over to your right. But mostly what we need is an artist actually on the staff.
The situation is thus: We're coming to the end of Death Note Month of Light Yagami. This means that we're systematically checking all of the inboxes to ensure that no-one's submission got missed, and that everyone as yet unpublished is in our big planning grid somewhere.
That done, it was a return to the start, back to that big list made of possible content, when we thought hardly anyway would join in. Ha!
Finds a whole article written in advance, and promptly forgotten about; has a frightened little gasp over the short list pertaining to Light Yagami's birthday on the 28th.
Never did source an astrologer to tell us about the propensity of Pisceans to become Kira; nor anyone to explain why it matters that his Light Yagami's blood group is A; nor whether the Fire Tiger of the Death Note manga birth year for Kira, or Earth Snake of the anime, best suits Light's personality as described in the Chinese Zodiac. If anyone actually knows any of this stuff - or related charts, no-one mentioned Indian astrology yet! - then you have two days to jot your knowledge down and rush it to us in time for Kira's birthday on February 28th.
Pretty much guaranteed to ninja yourself into our already chock-a-block publishing grid for Light Yagami month though!
Then there it was, a faded, pencilled little note - create a gift store for Kira on Death Note News. It would tie in nicely and we have a freaking website to pay for! If we could just start remembering to populate (and promote) our Death Note Gifts area (tick), we might get a dribble of commission in to put aside towards hosting costs (He Moves Me Differently, not really here); domain name retention (here); Kira crossword prizes etc.
So when things get tough, we wouldn't have to resort to desperate measures, like launching an appeal replete with photographs of the wide-eyed, cute, beseeching faces of our two kittens and boa constrictor.
(Incidentally, and remarkably, that worked! Yow and Jiji are currently nowhere to be seen, out playing without risk of our kittens creating more kittens; plus they got their travel home, all their inoculations and insurance to cover them at their friendly, lovely vet. Tinkerbell is having a vivarium built especially for her. Until about two days ago, I'd have said she's the happiest boa constrictor alive. Then she got mites. This is not a great learning curve, but we're winning nontheless. No infestation of snake eating mini-spiders noms Tink on OUR watch. And yes, Anonysnake did raise Anonymous to help haX0r said mites. Two Anons anyway. No more about that here. This is a Death Note news site! If you want to keep up with kitten/boa gossip, follow them on Twitter like normal people.)
Anyway, utterly side-tracked. Have a reject Death Note Kira merchandise thumbnail to get us back on track.
I nearly went with this. It seemed to me to have possibilities, which in the hands of a real artist might have been teased out. Then again, it wouldn't have got to this stage with a real artist.
There would have been art.
Much waffling later, we arrive at the point. Bulleted recap for TL;DR:
LIGHT YAGAMI SHOP - THE SEQUEL!