For a limited time only, MRSJeevas will write to your specification in return for your contribution to her pet fund.
And it's all for the good cause of needful kitten torture and the rehousing of a boa constrictor.
Cute Pet Sob Story Part
*both omitted from actual post because if we could afford them, we wouldn't need to launch this appeal*
She's precisely the same height as Matt from Death Note, according to How to Read, only Tinkerbell does it horizontally. (If we're insisting upon vertical, then she's about 2 inches, with a 5ft 5" waistline. At the same level as her head.)
She's also got much the same interests as Death Note's Matt. Here she is joining Anonymous.
Though perfectly fine just now, she'll need a new vivarium early in the new year. Just so she can stretch out and do snake-y things. Like parties. Or preparing for her part-time job as a boa worn during lounge-room renditions of Shirley Bassey songs. (It's been known to happen.) Or whatever else Tinkerbells do. Flutter to Neverland and stuff.
Or, as she's doing right now, curling up, blind and asleep under her basking lamp, while she sheds her skin in order to grow some more.
New vivariums to fit - as she heads upwards towards 6ft and over - cost between £200-£345, depending upon how fancifully it's fitted, and if it includes a fully stocked bar, high speed laptop, en suite bathroom etc. One mod con that we would love is a stand to get her off the floor, where it's cold and prone to kittens.
Talking of which.
He also - along with his sister Jiji - needs to have all his inoculations, and be dewormed and deflea-ed (if such things are necessary), before Christmas. So he can come on a nice car ride to Matti's Mum and Dad's house, where turkey and being spoiled rotten will be a thing.
They also need a travel box/cage/thingie, so they don't run wild around Matti's car in a wild panic over moving so fast and far from home. Thus forestalling an horrific car-crash when they claw the driver to death.
Either way, all this costs money for the vet which we haven't got. So a dollar a Death Note drabble anyone? Contact me privately to find out how.